And On The 3rd Day...

...God created maternal sadness.

It happens on the third day every time she's with her father for a week or more-- my daughter being gone will absolutely break my heart. I'll be overwhelmed with the quiet, saddened by the My Little Ponies that I step on in the night, guilt ridden over plans for time to be spent with the new boyfriend. I'll know the next few days are going to be exciting, fun, peaceful, romantic, lazy.. which is to say. the following days are not ones in which I will be myself.

I am not a girlfriend, I am not a student, I am not an unmarried 30 year old. I am a mother, who happens to have all of these other things going on as well. But in these days, I am a mother only as a secondary career I am laid off from.

I am a displaced mother.

And I am a fraud, walking around living a double life as someone I am really not.

It's simply the way it is, and once the winter break has passed it doesn't happen again until summer in this way, but in the last few days of the winter visitation, I'm a train wreck, I have identity crisis, and as of an hour ago, I cry very easily and blog very poorly.

6 years down though-- 12 to go. Moving right along.