At the aforementioned special event, I completely for got to mention the awesomeness. On our way out, I saw my dreamy academic adviser having lunch with another professor from my school. He looked extra 90's power-pop, I think his hair may have been parted even MORE in the middle than usual.
"Why hello, Dr. Pearl Jam (that's what I call him in my mind). How nice seeing you here. Oh, and what is that smell... Cool Water?"
"Close, CK one. I notice you're here instead of in class, much like myself."
"Why yes, Dr. Pearl Jam, I am. Here we stand, not student and professor, but man and woman."
"So it seems. I also notice, outside of the educational environment as we seem to find outselves... you're beautiful."
Yup, that's exactly how it went. That's the conversation.
The one I had in my brain while I shuffled out quickly with my child born out of wedlock, a picture of my boyfriend on the front of my phone, and the knowledge that I'm clearly much older than this professor filed away in my mind.
Yup, that's exactly just how it went.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Better Off Without A....
Today, my best friend got engaged. What that also means is the man I lived with for 7 years, raised a child with (not her father-- the man who raised her and her father are very different things) put a ring on another woman's finger and said they have both wanted this from the day that them met.
At which point, I was still living with this man.
And I eventually had put together that he was into some girl he had met towards the end and that's why he was so mean (and oh, it was mean, uncivilized is the mildest I could call it). What I had not been aware of until now when I was watching my past on one knee begging to be someone else's future, was that these two people were already deeply in love in those last hellish weeks: That this is why I had gone through so much that I still wake up shaking sometimes today.
Since then, my ex has started taking medication, seeing a counselor, doing all the things someone does when they need help for rage or any other malady that hurts other people. He's done this on his own, which I respect and am glad for and lets him be one of my favorite people in all the world. And I'm going to be the best man. And I'm going to be wildly happy for my best friend and the woman he is going to marry, who is a lovely woman to say the least. And that's all fine and good all these years later, I can't wait for that day.
But at this moment in time I want to go on record as saying "What the fuck? Seriously dude? Wow."
And now, that is said. And now, I can simply stand back and enjoy everything to follow. Because some things are shady as shit, that's just how it is... but what's done is done and once the initial sting wears off, all that we're left with is two happy people, who are happy with someone else. And get to enjoy one anothers happiness as what it is. And that's a fucking rarity if there ever was one.
So "Ouch"? Yes. And then, moving right along.
At which point, I was still living with this man.
And I eventually had put together that he was into some girl he had met towards the end and that's why he was so mean (and oh, it was mean, uncivilized is the mildest I could call it). What I had not been aware of until now when I was watching my past on one knee begging to be someone else's future, was that these two people were already deeply in love in those last hellish weeks: That this is why I had gone through so much that I still wake up shaking sometimes today.
Since then, my ex has started taking medication, seeing a counselor, doing all the things someone does when they need help for rage or any other malady that hurts other people. He's done this on his own, which I respect and am glad for and lets him be one of my favorite people in all the world. And I'm going to be the best man. And I'm going to be wildly happy for my best friend and the woman he is going to marry, who is a lovely woman to say the least. And that's all fine and good all these years later, I can't wait for that day.
But at this moment in time I want to go on record as saying "What the fuck? Seriously dude? Wow."
And now, that is said. And now, I can simply stand back and enjoy everything to follow. Because some things are shady as shit, that's just how it is... but what's done is done and once the initial sting wears off, all that we're left with is two happy people, who are happy with someone else. And get to enjoy one anothers happiness as what it is. And that's a fucking rarity if there ever was one.
So "Ouch"? Yes. And then, moving right along.
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