Go to Hell, Internet Social Site.

No, actually that guy randomly decided he didn't like me and took me off of his friends list and stopped calling and texting out of the clear blue sky a season and a half ago. And I really kind of liked him, and I think you should stop suggesting in your oh so mechanically insensitive way that we should be friends. It's not that his little thumbnail showing up in a corner of my computer screen every single night asking if I want to be his friend (something it has been established that 'yes, I really really do' has nothing to do with) is going to leave me in tears. It isn't. As I type, I have a very nice man bringing me a cheeseburger-- boys come and go.

It's just that my computer shouldn't go around assuming what friends are available to me and rubbing it in that some of them, no they're not. I'm just saying. Go to hell, Internet social site. Making your judgment calls and irresponsible suggestions as to who may like to socialize with... you don't even know me.

Ah. Boy am I glad I got that out there.

Now, to eat that cheeseburger. And, to block someone from my facebook that doesn't even care what I'm doing or have any interest in being my friend to begin with, in the hopes of banishing that little thumbnail in my left hand screen corner forever.

I don't know that I agreed to this.

I 100% chose to give birth to, keep and raise my child. I am aware of this. I 100% chose to go to school full time, I am aware of this. I 100% opted, declared, all on my own that I will not be dating, will not be having sex, will not be getting 'involved' (whatever the fuck that means) for as long as it takes (for whatever the fuck 'it' is). I all on my own decided that yes, I was going to be best friends with not 1 but 2 of my ex boyfriends, the two I love most for tremendously different reasons. I chose with no reservation to move into an extremely small apartment clear on the other side of my city from the area I have always lived. All of these things, totally up to me. I am aware of this all.

It's just that at the time, they sounded more like the above mentioned decisions than "I am choosing to be lonely and confused and overwhelmed, cluttered and exhausted, poor, and above all else, to have a really good reason to be the most neurotic woman I will ever know."

Nope. On their own, none of them really sounded like that... on their own, they all sounded like pretty good ideas at the time.