Some people-- namely, but unnamed, some of the other single lady bloggers I know of-- rush back to their blogs after a breakup, suddenly realizing that they love being single, their girlfriends are like, the best, dating was soooo lame and they totally love motherhood (all the while never noting where that love was for the time they were in a relationship).
They come back with a whirl of independents, frantic clanks, and a serious bang.
I however, come back with a slow head-low slink, the name of the unborn child I should never have named still on the tip of my tongue, my ex safely a year behind me, and a daughter who is still a million times better than your daughters, a million times better than me. I come back in a exhausted heap in the middle of a Saturday night after a crafters busy season because my daughter won today in a big way and I've been losing to glitter all of last month, and at some point in ever single mom with a blogs life.. she's going to use that blog again. And if that single mom is me... it's not going to be very profound.
My daughter won today in a big way-- let's go back to that, because it's always easiest for a single mother of a 10 year old to open with "my daughter is soooo intelligent" kind of blurb. And oh yes, she is.
Because today my daughter told me "You must not like the way you look because you frown every time you look in the mirror. But Mommy, you actually look more, like, wrinkly when you frown".
Fair enough, 10 year old.
So, almost a month into the new year, I am making a resolution. It's an absurd one, childish and motivational poster-esque, but it's the one I'm making and I'm at peace with this. When I look in the mirror, I'm going to smile. Because she's right, I don't look as old when I smile, and that in turn may give me a legit reason to smile more often-- not knowing what I look like when I'm not smiling as the primary information I start my day with.
So, that's where I am. There is more to say, and this isn't an explaination as to where I've been in blogging or why I'm where I am in life... it's just that. My daughter said the smartest thing, and I decided ages after the last time I decided to rock my blog, to post it.
And... done.
About Nanda Sue
- Amanda Kershner
- South Bend, Indiana
- A 38 year old single mother turned wife and stepmother, and over-thinker, my anxiety disorder is more than just acute...it's the cutest. I am a tish bitter, neurotic and well meaning in sometimes equal parts, and am prone to cattiness, wordplay, run-on sentences and misspelling.
