Some Things

1) Over the weekend, my boyfriend did something amazing. He took me to a They Might Be Giants concert. There were not shirts I wanted in my size, and the teenagers in front of me were douchy as shit, and my breast hurt from the biopsy (really, they're a much cruder process than I had expected!), but it was They Might Be Giants, and both Johns were charming, and my boyfriend is not the hugest fan but was still willing to not even sit but stand through an entire show. Previous to that, there was amazing sushi, and much nagging from me about where we were going, and he was a gem all the while.

Unfortunate, however, was a young girl in the bathroom before the show. 8 minutes before the show, actually. She was slender and pretty and probably a couple of years younger than me (which is already a couple of years younger than your standard TMBG fan). She fell from the stall, asked if she could hug me, and fell into me before I could politely decline (though have we met me? The truth is I probably wasn't going to anyway). "Ijustlovethemsomuch!" she slurred, burped a little in me, and swooned back into the stall to throw up. While throwing up, however, she said something to the effect of how this was going to be the best show of her entire life.

And I never talk about this, seldom with my friends and almost never online, but now and again there's a moment: Here's one of those moments. That poor drunk little girl who couldn't even keep it together, already falling all over and puking in her hair before her favorite band even hit the stage, it was a little close to home. It was me 3 years ago, and it was unsettling to see what I was like now that so much time, so many meetings, and so many days without a single fucking scotch, neat, double, have passed. I remember often times that I quit drinking because I was a train wreck, but it's easy for me to forget exactly what that train wreck looked like. I just wasn't present for any part of my life, I was always blacked out and crying by time the most important parts got to me because I was celebrating their pending arrival. And it was sooo unsettling to me to see in this little girl, and it made me sooo grateful that I'm not that girl today.

And unrelated, it kept bringing me back to the thought of this chapter (this is not the best translation, I know) of the little prince http://www.angelfire.com/hi/littleprince/framechapter5.html ... I can't see the connection. Maybe it's something I was thinking of the last time I was drunk at a concert, fuck if I know. But, that's what I keep thinking of in relation to this drunk girl.

2) Girls Night:

I have really amazing girlfriends. I am very selective, there are maybe 8 girls in my life who I am close to for extremely different reasons, and I trust them and I feel safe with them. In the world of girls, this is no small thing to boast. Last night was girls night with a few of these girls, and I couldn't have been happier. I have women in my life who get my jokes, who I can gossip about the evils of gossip with, and who can periodically understand complete non-words "You know that blond girl with the face who was like... (insert weird non-word expression here)" "Oh, yeah! I know that girl". I am at peace with the females around me: That's fucking huge. And I blog it a lot because it always blows my mind. For all of my bitching, I have things going on that I don't really know other women who can claim.

3) Oh My God, SERIOUSLY, fucking roommate.

My roommate was one of my best friends. I went out on a huge limb to move with him. I put off decorating because he had certain ideas and I didn't want to step on his toes and do it all while he was out of town every week this summer with his girlfriend. I actually would never have selected this three bedroom duplex in a million years if I wasn't planning on having a roommate for at least a year. But, now that roommate isn't even my fucking friend, has only one friend (everyone has that one friend that dates that way I guess-- but still, it fucking sucks). And, he's moving out in January. Which he randomly told me on our (my?) porch a few weeks ago out of the clear blue sky and started offering up replacement roommates who he hadn't even talked to about it. And who I wouldn't let live with my child. And who maybe aren't employed or aren't looking for roommates, or who don't even like me.

And it's the shadiest, most childish, most irresponsible thing a fucking human being can do to a friend. And it hurts like fuck, and it also makes a complete mess out of my life and leaves me really scared of how I'm going to pay bills, etc.

And as if this wasn't all enough... seriously guy. Don't fucking keep all my plates in your room. If you flood the bathroom, fucking clean it up. be a little apologetic. Don't use forks on my fucking Teflon. Don't burn the bottoms of the handles of my saucepans.

Or not, whatever. I just wish the asshole would move now, I'm so hurt and furious and fed up. A bad friend a bad roommate AND screwing me over... what am I getting out of this? For real: This fucking sucks.

And, that is all. Now, to try to scrub the char off of the bottom of my pan handle, call my boyfriend to thank him again for an amazing Friday night, and to post pictures of my girls all up on the Internet, then to cuddle my favorite girl before writing those papers I like to put off until 3 hours before they are due as a rule.