I 100% chose to give birth to, keep and raise my child. I am aware of this. I 100% chose to go to school full time, I am aware of this. I 100% opted, declared, all on my own that I will not be dating, will not be having sex, will not be getting 'involved' (whatever the fuck that means) for as long as it takes (for whatever the fuck 'it' is). I all on my own decided that yes, I was going to be best friends with not 1 but 2 of my ex boyfriends, the two I love most for tremendously different reasons. I chose with no reservation to move into an extremely small apartment clear on the other side of my city from the area I have always lived. All of these things, totally up to me. I am aware of this all.
It's just that at the time, they sounded more like the above mentioned decisions than "I am choosing to be lonely and confused and overwhelmed, cluttered and exhausted, poor, and above all else, to have a really good reason to be the most neurotic woman I will ever know."
Nope. On their own, none of them really sounded like that... on their own, they all sounded like pretty good ideas at the time.
About Nanda Sue
- Amanda Kershner
- South Bend, Indiana
- A 38 year old single mother turned wife and stepmother, and over-thinker, my anxiety disorder is more than just acute...it's the cutest. I am a tish bitter, neurotic and well meaning in sometimes equal parts, and am prone to cattiness, wordplay, run-on sentences and misspelling.
