Every Morning A 5 year Old Crawls In My Bed And Starts Talking Crazy.

M: Mommy, do you love daddy, and like him too?

N: No... we're not really friends exactly. We don't get along very well, that's why we don't spend time together. We both love you though, that's most important, right?

M: No, I think everyone should love each other and Anna should sleep on the couch and you should sleep in a BIG bed with me and daddy.

N: Ohhh, do you (Many other things were said after this,vicious like a rabid dog and all of them completely silently)?

M: Yes. Maybe I can tell daddy you love him, and he will love you.

N: Don't. You. Dare.
(completely out loud, this statement)

M: OK, then. How about if I cut out a heart out of some red paper and then put some glitter on it and daddy will see it and think maybe that you made it and then I can give it to you (I realize the point is NOT my daughters concern for recycling, but here please let me pause and draw attention to it anyway) and you will think daddy gave it to you and then you'll both love each other and then you and daddy can get married and I don't have to marry you.

N: You got mad moxie kid, I'll give you that. That's a very fancy plan indeed. But, um, no. Your moms a babe, we're getting married, that's that. You, Morgan, are going to marry your mom.

M: Oh... too bad.

N:Mm, it's almost 7:30. We should get out of bed, huh?

M: Yeah. I'm really tired though... I don't even want to get up to go potty.

N: Oh, don't you dare.

*please note: This conversation did not take place this morning-- it's old hat.